Happy New Years…..Almost Three Months Later

Hi WordPress family!

Happy new years!!!

I know…it’s been quite some time since I’ve chatted with you guys. I’ve just been so swamped with STILL trying to find a job, moving back in with my mom, and trying to fight this God awful cold/flu that everyone and their zebra is getting.

Only very recently have I started writing again. I think it was a great thing for me to take a break. I’ve, also, been looking up grammatical rules and such so I can edit the finished six chapters. The problem is that Layla (the main character) keeps whispering to me that she wants to do something else when I have clearly told her she’s doing it another way. She and I haven’t been seeing eye to eye on certain things but because she’s such a dang diva, I give in. Therefore, the story continues to change. I am also getting overwhelmed with all the rules of english. sheesh. All these technical names for grammar rules I either never knew, didn’t care, or have forgotten. It’s kind of discouraging when all I want to do is write but the editor inside me won’t move on. Is this a common thing or is this just me?

You know, I hear author’s like Laurell K Hamilton saying that her and Merry (Merry Gentry series) often argue and now I can see why. Layla and I were super tight in the very beginning but now she keeps changing her mind. Fickle little thing she is.

Anyway, I hope to write more. I am 90% sure I want to go the self publishing route because the traditional route can take up to two years. yikes! I just found this website called Author Agency (http://www.authoragency.com/) and so far so good. They will find you an agent, if you want to go the traditional route, or they do self publishing. It seems pretty nifty. I will check it out some more before making a final decision. What it really boils down to is the fact that I am unemployed, so I don’t have money to spend like that. -_- it’s rather depressing.

Okie dokie. Well, I wanted to say hi and touch bases with you guys! I’ve missed posting and readers others’ posts, so I will def start doing that more.

Good night and God’s Blessings!

Tori

 

Stop Wishing Me Happy Holidays!!!! >-(

Hey blog world,

Haven’t written in awhile, I know. I actually planned on writing tomorrow when I started working on my book again, but I just am a little irritated right now.

Why, oh why, do you (directed towards anyone who does this) continue to wish my a happy w/e when you know for the past 3yrs I haven’t celebrated anything other than my birthday???? like i don’t understand…what is so difficult to grasp about it? just because most of society keeps Sunday worship or Thanksgiving or Christmas, NONE of which are Biblical, that means I have to? Excuse me???

I don’t impose my beliefs on anyone, you know? I tell you what it is, especially if you ask me because anything that I say that have to do with holidays is historically based. The last book of the Bible (Revelation) was written between 95-106AD- any kind of thing that came after that is NOT Biblical. It just isn’t. I’m sorry if you feel like since many people have been going to church on sundays for thousands of yrs now or keeping christmas or things like that, but it has NOTHING to do with the true God. The Bible even says that there are two Jesuses- there’s THE Jesus and A Jesus that people make up. Christmas, Sunday, communion, etc are from A JESUS, not THE JESUS. THE JESUS kept Saturday worship. THE JESUS kept the Passover and the other six feasts that God put into place from the Old Testament to the New Testament. THE JESUS told His disciples to do the things He did and the early Christians did just that- they kept the Sabbath Day on Saturday, the kept Passover and the other feasts. They did the things just as Jesus commanded them. The only reason these laws were changed (Sunday, communion, Easter) was because the Roman Catholic Church teamed up with the Romans during the Dark Ages and anyone who didn’t do as they commanded were completely slaughtered.

I’m sorry but just because YOU say it’s right bc of whatever reason you’d like to justify DOESN’T MEAN IT IS!!!! Black is black and white is white- don’t try to convince me it’s purple! The problem is, people do things because it’s convenient for them or because for so many generations they did it another way and that’s fine. Your salvation is just that- yours. And mine is mine, but I’m not going to base my salvation on falsehood and lies. I’m sorry but I won’t.

And just like you don’t want to listen to me, even though what I say is true, don’t expect me to listen to your lies. I’m sorry to call it that, but Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Sunday worship, cross reverence, communion, and ANYTHING else you can think of is FAKE and I WILL NOT celebrate it, so PLEASE STOP SAYING HAPPY WHATEVER!!!!!

::rant complete::

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Time to Whip My Butt in Shape!

Hey All!!!

So things have been stressful lately but things are slowly (SLOWLY) getting better, so now I can get back to taking care of me. =)

I’ve had Insanity Asylum since it first came out, but I’ve never successfully finished it. As a matter of fact, I’ve never finished regular Insanity all the way through. Smh. Things like that make me think I won’t finish this book. -_- I never see things all the way through. After going to Embry Riddle for 4.5yrs, I was on my last semester and was short 10k so I couldn’t keep going there. Came home and started doing online school but because I was so discouraged from Riddle, I never finished. I published a poetry book a couple of years ago but never promoted it so it never went anywhere. I make goals and NEVER keep them. ugh…..I can be such a failure sometimes.

 

The only thing I can say I continue to do is go to Church…but I think that’s only be default because every church that I’ve ever been to other than this one has been false. Honestly, my church is the  ONLY true church (sorry if I’ve offended anyone- msg me and I’ll be glad to show you through the Bible why I’ve made such a bold statement), so it’s like if I leave, where will I go? To a church that keeps Sunday service, not Saturday- the Sabbath day? A church that celebrates pagan holidays (Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, etc) rather than keep the Passover and the other 6 feasts of God? Come on. I love it though. Only because of the power of the Holy Spirit and the love of God the Father and God the Mother I am able to continue going, being the only thing I am carrying out all the way through

…..I digress…..

 

Anyway, so I’m going to do an Asylum/running hybrid starting tonight. My neighborhood is a smidge bit ghetto, so I won’t run at night but I will start waking up earlier. Which, that’s a task in itself because I never wake up earlier than I have to. >_< Oye….please pray for me folks…I gotta get back into shape. I would like to fit into this one mini skirt I always wore in high school. I would never wear it outside again because I’ve given up my ho ways (lol) but I just want to be able to say I fit that, oh yeah! lol.

Ok, well, let me start. =/ later guys. I hope everyone’s weekend is amazingly blessed. Thanks to all the veterans out there btw! My momma is a vet, so I have the utmost respect for you guys! For everyone, like myself, who has tomorrow off, make the most of your day. And for those who don’t, keep grinding! =)

May God Bless You All!

Tori

Writing and Stress- Not a Bad Combo

Hey all!

 

So I finally finished the 4th chapter- something I’ve been working on for like 3 days. I would either get too sleepy to write or I just wouldn’t have anything to say. But honestly, I’ve been so stressed out over my financial situation that when I do write, I get lost in it, just like if I was reading a book. I’m fasting and praying, hoping and believing that things will work out by tomorrow (rent day). >_<

 

I have never been through this kind of hardship before, you know. It’s just so….much. So much. I am barely coping honestly. But thank God I have been writing because when I actually do, I find myself completely engrossed in it.

 

Engrossed….that’s a word I feel I should use in chapter 5. I will make a point to do so.

 

Sigh….I’m trying to put all my trust and faith in God, you know? I don’t know what anyone else’s beliefs are, but from the Bible and science, we can understand we’re living in the last days. Therefore, I know Satan is just pissy that his time is short so he’s messing with me…it’s quite irritating, let me tell you. But if he’s anything at all, he’s consistent…I’ll give him that…the bastard…

 

Anyway, other than my life crumpling around me, I’m becoming very proud of my book. Actually because of all the pain going on in my life, it allowed me to write an extremely dramatic scene to end chapter 4. I’m pretty excited for my team (aka my HS besties) to read it and let me know what I should add or take away.

 

I hope everyone else’s life is doing better than mine. =) Though misery loves company, I do pray for everyone to be doing better than I am. Through your good fortune that God blesses you with, I can be encouraged. I love you all!

 

May God Bless You!

Tori

Felicity

She sat in the closet, feeling ants march along her skin. She was so hungry but knew if she cried, it would only make it worse. In the past when she cried, he would hit her from her chest down to her stomach. As her stomach growled, she thought about how long she had been there. To a six year old, it seemed like forever. In reality, she had been there since six p.m. the night before.  Wishing she didn’t have to stay there, she heard the voice of her mother, her real mother, and longed for her.

“Felicity!” she would say. “Aren’t you hungry? Do you want me to eat your food? Maybe I should give it to Bird Bird? Or maybe Mickey Mouse? Do you want them to have your food?”

“No, mommy! I want my food!”

“Then you should be a good girl and eat it. Not everyone is as blessed as you to have food.”

“Does Big Bird eat food?

“Oh yes. His food isn’t as good as yours though.”

“What does he eat?”

“He eats bird seeds.”

“How does he eat it?”

Her mom came over to her with a mischievous smile. “You want to know how he eats? Like this!” And she would grab Felicity, and peck her with her lips all over her face.

Felicity giggled wildly and would beg her mother to stop. “Ok mommy! Ok!”

“Do you understand how he eats now?”

Still giggling, she said “Yes mommy, I get it!”

“Ok then. Now, eat your food.”

A lone tear fell from her eyes. She missed her mommy and wondered why she went away.

‘If mommy was here, I wouldn’t be hungry. Maybe I should have just eaten my food.’ she thought, blaming herself. ‘If I would have eaten my food, mommy wouldn’t have went away.’

As she sniffled, he came in. “Are you crying in there?” he asked as he yanked the door open.

Felicity quickly wiped her face with the back of her hand and shook her head ‘no.’

“Good girl. Are you ready to come out of the closet now?”

She nodded her head at him.

“Good. Next time, when we play ‘lick the lollipop,’ you will play it right, right?”

Again, she nodded her head.

“Good girl. Come out and get ready for school.”

Without looking into her foster dad’s eyes, she crawled out of the closet and ran into her room, closing the door behind her. She slumped down to the floor, crying silently and wanting her mommy.

Life is Irritating…

Hey blog world,

 

Life can be so mean! ugh! this week has been so full of emotional setbacks that I haven’t had the kind of time I need to work on my book. I’ve been on chapter 3 for about a week and some change. I JUST finished this evening and I’m about to write chp 4. I’m hoping that I can finish this portion (which are chp 1-8 or 9) so I can work on the second part. This is a three parter in one book- one part is about Layla, the second part is about Felicity, and the third part is their reunion. I am so excited to get to that part, but it’s almost like it’s taking so long to get there.

 

I, also, want to read a couple folks blogs but this week has just been so dang hectic. ugh! I’m just thankful to God that it is a new week. I’m praying everything works out for me by the end of this week because I could be out of a place to stay. Then I’d be a starving artist for real! lol. =(

 

Total side note- I’m listening to Pandora right now (which is entirely too loud, but I don’t have a regular remote for my t.v., so I can’t turn it down w/out getting up and I am quite comfy) and I am just so dang tired of Beyonce. She’s not even that great. She’s cool, I can’t hate on her, but seriously, I wish she would just be quiet already. Retire or something. Be a full time mom and let us be. IDK, this is just how I feel. lol.

 

Ok, ok, time to stop procrastinating. It’s time to get to chp 4 and wishful thinking, I can even do chp 5 tonight. Let’s see. Later folks! Have a blessed week! ❤

 

May God Bless You All,

Tori

By the Grace of God…

I finally figured out what to do about my character dilemma: I WILL USE THEM BOTH AS MAIN CHARACTERS!!!!

It took the last couple hours to work it out, but I got it. I got it. I GOT IT!!!! I just want to scream it to the mountain tops!!!!!!

……there’s no mountains in Anaheim, though….

It was called Caramel Teardrops, but ive since changed the name…i will tell you guys as it gets closer to the finish! =)

OMGEE I love it!!!! =) Thank God!

Ok, I thought I’d leave you guys with that for now. It’s already after 1am and I need to wake up for 6 tomorrow…today.

I do have a question, though. At what point do you put a preview or snippet of your chapters? Should I wait until after it’s edited and everything? Do I do it now when it’s in the beginning stages so that others can review and tell me what they think? Please advise!

Sorry if I bore you guys with this process and constantly write about it. lol. My other “friends” (some are actually my friends- I’m just being bitter right now) don’t seem to have much time for me and my book these days, so I have to take it to the net.

Ok, but really, good night everyone. Thanks for reading! 😉 (I hope you did!)
May God Bless You All,

Tori
PS: I realized I am a colossal idiot. lol. So in part of the story, the daughter gets taken away from the mother bc she develops a mental illness. Here I am, googling like there’s no tomorrow when it hits me: MY MOM IS A SOCIAL WORKER! I COULD JUST ASK HER!!!! lol. I swear I was a blonde either in heaven or in the womb because that there was blonde moment! Lol. Good night everyone!